All I ask is Time
June 19, 2008
“A sick young boy has been bedridden for a couple months. Mom never had time with his kid for a very complex reasons, she’s busy, busy and busy! Until one instance the boy got to talk to his mom and said mom will you lend me money? Just a hundred dollar. He’s mom went hysterical and said we don’t have money left. Stop it I am busy for this. Then the child insisted and said I just want to buy an hour of your time mom.”(From an article I read long ago)
Parents now a day have been so preoccupied on how they will earn. And sometimes forget to spend time with their children. How would one react if you will hear that from your kid “ma/pa I just want to buy an hour of your time”? He isn’t asking for a day, he only settled for an hour. Perhaps the boy may see the mother or father often times but never had quality time with them. Kids are observant about it. Parents may talk to their children maybe just because they need to and not because they love to. Preoccupation will always show up. You’re may be physically visible but still thinking of something else. Sometimes parent’s got to confuse the importance of material support over emotion. How would you handle it if your kid will say “I don’t need that I just need you mom”? Difficult isn’t it. How much more if you’re an overseas mother?
We always see the need of going out of the country for a better life. Mother’s set aside emotional discomfort with their children. Some may have thought about it. Others may say all they need is time. This whole thing is not forever. They just need to earn for their children’s future. And make up to them later.
I am a bare witness of some mother’s struggle abroad. They struggle not just about work but of emotional distress being far from their loved ones specially their children. I got a chance to be a friend to a working mother who has been so emotional when watching movies about families. Those who have been counting the days left when to be with their children again. Also those who want to give up with their work and go home. These are mothers who acquire their strength from their children. The working mothers who restlessly spent nights thinking back home. These are same mothers who can hardly buy something for themselves without thinking if their children have something new. The same mothers who feel guilty of living their children even for good intention. These are mothers who make up with their children even through phone calls. These are also the mothers being accused that they chose luxurious life over their children. The mothers who live with fear that upon going back home their suffering went out for nothing seeing their kids with no direction in life. Fear that they are the ones to be blame.
Sometimes we feel the unfairness of life. There are those mothers who are blessed to be with their children and spent no time with them yet appeared good because they stay. Those overseas mothers who want nothing but to be with their children get accused. Even how good is the intention things don’t go the way we want them to flow. Even the best acclaimed Mothers receive negative feedbacks. Sometimes mothers and children were just victims by how the society dictates us on how to react on situations. Too much of those movies portraying parents abroad and children end up miserable. This may be a possibility. But have we forgotten that there are also children who appreciate their mother’s sufferings? Who would want to be far from what you consider your life? NO mother will ever leave her children for nothing…
By: Chesnut
A Contracted Love Affair
June 18, 2008 Love has always been one of the catalysts influencing one’s perception of life. This becomes a basis when one answers I’m happy or sad if ask how’s life. The answer depends on what kind of relationship he had or is having. But how do those people see life; those involved in a contracted love affair? For those who knew that the affair is wrong from the start. Those who have accepted that the relationship is going nowhere yet risked. 
One may reason loneliness as a premise to his vulnerability to temptation. Indeed life abroad is not easy. Always confronted with the destructive feeling of isolation. Is it a scapegoat to involve in this kind of an affair? Even how rational these contracting lovers in making things clear between them they are always those who stay with hope. There are anticipations that one day their partner will choose them over the other. That’s where competition begins. What’s lacking with the real one will be given by the other. This in turn results to confusions and doubts. One may fall and worst leave the real one behind.
There are also instances where the guy stays committed to real one yet claims his love to the other one. Is he just confused or just being conceited? This is the painful event of the loving “kept-lover”. Better left hanging than left behind! Sometimes what the guy wants is just the reflection of his girl found in his “kept-lover”. Only loving the beautiful image found in her. Or the worst he is just making the ”kept-lover” his girl for the meantime.
“kept lovers” why allow it? Is it because no one has loved you the way he did or just because it was not an intention to fall, and you found yourself with no choice? They maybe are victims in this situation. Or they are just reaping the price of their stupid decision? A conspiracy ending up deceiving themselves that they are indeed victims. The situation becomes even harder when the guy needs to leave for good or the real girl comes along. What is then the setup? Waiting for spare moments of the guy? And being fooled with the gifts the guy gives, even it’s just a perfect alibi to satisfy his conscience? And convince himself he’s being fair?
Lovers will always have their own personal reasons why end up and stay with a contracted affair. The so-called time framed love story. A relationship brought about by lonesome lifestyle abroad. Or may it be a past time while the original is out, or a supplemental substitute of a real partner. Who are those who crave for it and those who risks? Who suffers the most those with original partners who confuse friendship with love? Those who allow being ”kept-lovers” and get left behind? Or the innocent legal one who are fooled?
Indeed life is perceived never been fair.
By: Chesnut
Friendship in a Lover’s Perspective
June 17, 2008 Man will never live without associating himself to a group or to someone. Often than not we cling to somebody for refuge and acceptance. We always wanted to have a buddy to whom we can share our insights, and voice out our in-depth thoughts which has been long kept for some personal reasons. This maybe brought about solely by fear of rejection. At any circumstances no one can live alone. That’s why we have friends and we continuously become a friend to someone. But what if one falls for the other? But the other remains to be a friend. Which is harder the one who is in love and hides, or the one who knows that her friend is in love with him but ignores it to continue the friendship? Both are painful scenarios. She might end up treating the friendship as a battle rather than something comforting. Some says she doesn’t have a choice, but the truth is she has. She can probably live and put an end to the battle she is in. But often she opt to stay for friendship sake notwithstanding the prolonged agony seeing her friend with someone else and continuously savoring the pain hearing beautiful stories about different girl. The only price she gets is when her friend confesses problems that he doesn’t open up to anybody else. Happiness brought by sense of trustworthiness. This is the fulfillment she gets from convincing herself that she is a true friend. Is the man that insensitive not to feel it? Man knows. He feels it. But some tries to convince their sub-sub-conscious that it isn’t true. This denial allows him to continually be a friend and stay. Others may live and forget about friendship for some time. Because they can’t stand still seeing her friend suffers knowing that he is the reason. It is also difficult for a man not to feel the same way to her friend. He might feel sorry but will never use pity to love her in return. He may know how painful it is for her friend when he tells story about her girl friend. He feels the pain when sometimes he stops when the moment gets intimate between them. Why continuously confess problems about his heartache when he knows her friend is hurt? That he knows that every word he utters tears his friends heart. Maybe because that’s what everyone sees how friendship works. You have somebody to talk with, someone to cry with and someone who you trust. Without these they might feel like there’s a cold war going on… What is righteous then, staying or living your friend behind? This is always true to friends. And some may have experienced both. Loving your friend and not loved in return. Ignoring, hurting and staying. We always have unique perspective of friendship and as we go along with our lives we get to meet people whom we consider to be our friends and only those true friends get to stay: those who believe in openness, communication and trustworthiness regardless of the existence of forbidden love. By: chesnut 
