A DOt

       An innocent young boy was asked to look at a piece of black board. He sees nothing but hundreds of small dots all over it. He wondered what his master is up to. The boy was certain it’s a mystery to decode, but as to what specific nature that he doesn’t know! He is then puzzled what is on the board…and on the dots…

      Everyone aims for the best, life can offer. When one wants it he plans it. He strategically lay down his different options of paths to take. He anticipates all that could possibly happen. All his heart sees are good which gives him hope. Hope that develops his faith. Faith hardens his physique to start his primary pace. When he starts his walk through it, he realizes it isn’t a straight path but a long winding trail he’s taking. It is a path of uncertainties. It is a path full of small steps to take. He isn’t allowed to take a long leap to advance but to step on them one by one. The option he has is to move quickly, slowly or not to further at all. Some of the steps weaken him. Others are steps of persuasion and only few are bits of success. His thirst for the latter tempts him to stay. Fear started to grow within him. Fear of failing and never had a chance of embracing it again. He settled for these bits of success, and begins to doubt what his heart ones desired. He doubts what he is still capable of achieving. He becomes contented. And soon he’s ultimate goal will be part of history once aimed.

by: Chester Lelis

MANANG PHENOMENON

I have been in Palau for more than a year now. I have met different people. People from different background, lifestyle having diverse perspective of life. These are people who shared common objective upon coming to a foreign land. The objective that is drawn about by financial difficulties and of extreme need.  I was able to be touched by their stories of success, struggles and failures. I get to learn from the mistakes of others than having to learn it the hard way which is experiencing it yourself.

                I am an architect by profession. Whether I like or not I get to mingle with my clients who are usually well-off and are blessed with good education. In the contrary I get to work with these construction workers who are unfortunate of what these clients are being blessed of. But both have their own learning stories to tell.

I would like to share a particular story of one of the construction workers I get to work with. Here is the thing. “the manangs trend”. Manang is how these girl friends or female partners are being addressed. Manong for guys. When I said most of them I was referring to these construction workers who are housed in one housing unit. This housing unit has doubled-number of residents during offs and after work. This is where and when Adam and eve start to do their thing defining their illegitimate definition of love.

Arnel is a skilled mason construction worker (not his real name). He is forty three years old. He is a funny and lively man.  He has a wife and has six children back in the Philippines. The eldest is sixteen and the youngest is one year old. Knowing him, He considers his family as the only source of strength, to endure hardship and continuously win over emotional anguish. He has been here almost a year now. I can still remember during one of my conversations with him and his co workers six months ago, when manang issue was brought up. I was really amazed and was really convinced by their determination in withstanding human weakness. They have stood firm over the tendencies of submitting to temptation of desire and lust, brought about by loneliness and boredom. One of them said “Sir we are only paid this much not even enough for my family and so we can’t afford to take a single penny for a manang”. “For five months I was able to live without it and I don’t have any plans to have one” Arnel added with sarcasm. For me that was brave.  And I just smiled at them taking their statement with a salute and admiration. Those workers with manang did not utter a single word about the topic. I do believe during that conversation I knew these people got to establish who are good and bad guys among them and what act is acceptable and what’s not.

I have two close friends in their group. I have been having conversations with them often times during their visit in my place. They tell me the improvements in the construction site, share about their lives, their family situation, kids stuff and most of all how the atmosphere in their work and housing in Palau has changed lately. Almost all of them have been slowly eaten by the terror of the manang phenomenon. If before those who have manang are somehow out casted now it’s the opposite. Having one boost ones manhood! One is not “in” if he doesn’t have and even sexuality is put to question if you continually resist!

Until one Sunday of October, when I and my two closest workers were watching Basket ball game at Palau gym I saw Arnel with his forty one years old manang. My friends began talking about them. I kept my silence and just listen intently to them though my eyes were hooked on the game. I found out that Arnel has eaten his bravery since three months ago. By then he has been faced with so much debt and his manang takes most if not all of his salary. I was not really that surprised seeing them after knowing the trend. What surprised me is knowing that he has not sent any support for his family when he started having an affair. His wife has called to ask if his has been okay. She just showed her innocence through her concern. His eldest daughter has been crying airing their family’s situation. They starved and are now faced with too much debt expecting a support from their overseas father. And all they heard from him “ sorry, tiis muna kayo gipit lang ako”.

I was really speechless upon hearing it. The idea keeps playing in my head and it’s consuming me. All I can ask is how? Maybe it started from co-workers pressure. Or it was just a game in the start? Or was it just a proof of his imperfection? Was it just an explanation of mans inseparable nature to sex and sin? Whatever it is one thing is for sure, another husband/father is about to put a family to an end. Poor innocent wife. He has just abandoned his six innocent children who are up to this moment looks up to him as a good father and as a hero. Even my two close friends were concern thinking how they can make Arnel realize his situation. Indeed it’s his personal life but the moral obligation haunts my friends to do something to save the family. The terror of manang phenomenon is evident to him: Resistance to confrontation, uncontrollable debt and family abandonment.

 Arnel is just one of them. There are numerous of them slowly abandoning their primary objective of working overseas. There are numerous of them being blinded by temporary earthly satisfaction brought about by Manang Phenomenon. There are numerous of them who use loneliness as an alibi of his lust and covetousness to physical satisfaction.  Some consider Palau a temptation island. A perfect place where ones principle is shook and tested. But what is for real, regardless of what place you are in temptation lives within us. It is how you keep on winning your battle on resisting it and consistently drawing a line between black and white.

I have nothing against having manang, If and only if you’re single. But for a family man with kids and obligations that’s a big NO NO. I can only do so little and by sharing you this I think I will touch a part of you and be sympathetic to the true victims of this phenomenon. Married man; don’t ever slip in the trap of manang attraction and enter in the territory of lust and naives. Stop the “let’s see if I still have it”… It is not how many manang flirting you back when you flirts that measures ones manliness. Being in this territory is never an opportunity but a temptation. Manliness is measured by how you consistently live with your principles and your obligations.